How long will you be staying?
I’ve packed my bags and said goodbye

But all you seem to be doing is setting down foundations 
Building walls and adding some furniture
but somehow I'm not strong enough to tear it down and kick you out.

I'm sure you don't miss me 
But do you know how often you cross my mind
To shake a thought is to walk through fire
My heart and brain are at war 
Shredding me into oblivion
And you don't seem to care.

You're forever stained in my brain 
You've made your mark.

It's the simple things you did that built me up 
But now it's those things that tear me down

To whisper one word is to say a thousand 
But you don't hear them 
“Hi” means help, I'm stuck 
“I'm sorry” I wish it could be different 
But done is done 
And there's no changing it.

Each step away, a limb being ripped off 
But I guess I will get used to pain 
While you get used to happiness.

 

She’s standing there subconsciously awake, staring at the wall as the darkness wraps around the room consuming everything in its path. The sound of wood cracking as if it was the bones of the house breaking fills her ears. I tried to move her, to save her but shes stuck and no amount of force can mover her from the grip of it.

30 seconds in. It has entered the room quiet and still, waiting for the right time to make the move that would change everything.

1 minute in. Everything it touches becomes one with it, its presence is enough to send her stomach into a bowl of knots.

1 minute and 30 seconds in. It becomes stronger the longer it stays here, one person isn’t enough to fight it off.

2 minutes in. It’s becoming harder to breathe it starts to seep through the walls, slowly claiming her as its own.

2 minutes and 30 seconds in. There is nowhere left for her to run shes completely surrounded by its darkness, every step she tries to make is a death wish.

Its darkness surrounds her feet crawling up her body, she was struggling to get away reaching for anything she could grab. she released a scream that could destroy everything in her path. Her eyes went black, veins crept up her neck and her teeth rotted that’s when she saw me, she was now apart of it. Making her way toward me, I was now the one who was stuck. She clutched my neck, I’m running short on breath … gasping for the last part of air before I became apart of them …

Suddenly the fresh air flowed through my throat, I was safe. holding my neck where her hands once rested, my heart pounding as if to escape. I was covered in sweats and the room was acting as a carousel, I knew something was wrong. The phone rang, the chime sounded like glass shattering in my ears. I scrambled for the phone, the screen burned my eyes as I made out the numbers 4:25am. Clutching the phone as if it was the only thing keeping me alive, my hands going numb from the pressure. The shrill of a voice I barely recognise echoes down the phone line “it’s here”. Headlights of the cars ahead flooded the empty streets as the speed gauge shivered over 100, my heart matching the pace. Everything slowed the moment I stepped through the door, I felt as if I was standing in the grave of my past; how was I meant to move past this. The lumpy motel beds weren’t the comfort I needed to make it through the endless nights. Talking to the executioners whilst choking on my own sobs as night turned into day …

The gruelling 12 months passed, I was back in the house where it had laid its head to rest. Every step I made as slightly off, every squeak and creak was the unknown ashes letting their presence be known. The ceilings scream and the floors weep as the shadows in the walls continue to tell the story of it …

By Jade L. Cosmo

Growing up is different than being grown up.
Always have a plan of where your'e heading
but she has boarded a train with no destination and no idea how long she'll be there.
7, 7 years old.
Her canvas resembled a field of wildflowers,
adding something to her collection everyday,
waiting for the day when shes the person to look up to.
"Just wait till your'e older" they say.
I could watch this girl forever
but they never warned her
no one said she had to take her training wheels off 
and no one told her what the journey was really like.

Is there any way to go back 
to when time was easier.
How did she get here? wishing to reverse the days that have passed,
wanting to rewrite the chapter that had been written in bold.

17, 17 years old.
The colours are falling, merging into greys,
her collection is now filled with cobwebs with no duster in sight.
"You've grown up too fast" they say,
but for her it felt like an eternity.

I've lost track of who that girl was
but i hope she hasent lost sight of me.
One way or another we'll both be there for each other 
remembering and wishing 
for the future and past.

By Jade L. Cosmo